Comments on: It’s the subleties http://www.stevenlist.com/blog/2009/06/28/its-the-subleties/ Thoughts on Agile software development, facilitation, communication, and relationships in the personal and professional worlds, from Steven "Doc" List Sun, 22 Jan 2012 18:20:41 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Subtleties (again | The Doctor Is In) http://www.stevenlist.com/blog/2009/06/28/its-the-subleties/comment-page-1/#comment-1618 Subtleties (again | The Doctor Is In) Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:37:32 +0000 http://www.stevenlist.com/blog/?p=460#comment-1618 [...] As I said this summer, each of us is responsible for considering what we say and what we do and how it affects or is interpreted by others. Each of us must be conscious of how we change the value of what we say or do by the little things, like pulling back our elbows before the lift. [...] [...] As I said this summer, each of us is responsible for considering what we say and what we do and how it affects or is interpreted by others. Each of us must be conscious of how we change the value of what we say or do by the little things, like pulling back our elbows before the lift. [...]

]]> By: Ola Ellnestam http://www.stevenlist.com/blog/2009/06/28/its-the-subleties/comment-page-1/#comment-663 Ola Ellnestam Thu, 02 Jul 2009 11:41:34 +0000 http://www.stevenlist.com/blog/?p=460#comment-663 I believe that you are correct. And as Don is saying. If you are communicating the same thing with your face, gestures and the rest of your body, you're not very likely to send mixed messages. Try asking someone for the time for instance, and at the same time point to your far left or right. The reactions vary but it's usually a big: 'Huh?!' I don't know the exact numbers but I think less than 10% of communication is the actual words.So, to me, it's even more subtle than choosing the correct words. Different words can work as 'anchors' as well. Starting a thought processes you don't want. But that is a totally different discussion ;-) But that might just have been what you were trying to say? Oh, and thanks for making me think again! Your posts almost always makes me think about interesting things. Cheers, Ola I believe that you are correct. And as Don is saying. If you are communicating the same thing with your face, gestures and the rest of your body, you’re not very likely to send mixed messages.

Try asking someone for the time for instance, and at the same time point to your far left or right. The reactions vary but it’s usually a big: ‘Huh?!’

I don’t know the exact numbers but I think less than 10% of communication is the actual words.So, to me, it’s even more subtle than choosing the correct words. Different words can work as ‘anchors’ as well. Starting a thought processes you don’t want. But that is a totally different discussion ;-)

But that might just have been what you were trying to say?

Oh, and thanks for making me think again! Your posts almost always makes me think about interesting things.

Cheers,
Ola

]]> By: Dew Drop – June 29, 2009 | Alvin Ashcraft's Morning Dew http://www.stevenlist.com/blog/2009/06/28/its-the-subleties/comment-page-1/#comment-653 Dew Drop – June 29, 2009 | Alvin Ashcraft's Morning Dew Mon, 29 Jun 2009 13:34:35 +0000 http://www.stevenlist.com/blog/?p=460#comment-653 [...] It’s the subleties and Facilitation Antipattern: Repetitor (Steven ‘Doc’ List) [...] [...] It’s the subleties and Facilitation Antipattern: Repetitor (Steven ‘Doc’ List) [...]

]]> By: Don Smith http://www.stevenlist.com/blog/2009/06/28/its-the-subleties/comment-page-1/#comment-647 Don Smith Sun, 28 Jun 2009 16:58:40 +0000 http://www.stevenlist.com/blog/?p=460#comment-647 Don Smith made a comment about your note "It’s the subleties": This is great Doc. And your example is perfect. I also try to be sensitive to how I'm being interpreted. But that's largely due to my philosophy - that it's about my audience - I'm responsible for taking their culture, perspective, etc into account when communicating with them. I can't be responsible for how they choose to react, but I can take responsibility for the content. And I think that's what you're getting at. Agreed. With that said, I think body language has a considerable impact too. And the way you carry yourself when you're facilitating a meeting makes it pretty tough to imagine you have anything but the purest of intentions. I doubt you upset too many people. Nice guideline about not using comparative words. Sounds like a nice way of steering clear of the weeds. Don Smith made a comment about your note “It’s the subleties”:

This is great Doc. And your example is perfect. I also try to be sensitive to how I’m being interpreted. But that’s largely due to my philosophy – that it’s about my audience – I’m responsible for taking their culture, perspective, etc into account when communicating with them. I can’t be responsible for how they choose to react, but I can take responsibility for the content. And I think that’s what you’re getting at. Agreed.

With that said, I think body language has a considerable impact too. And the way you carry yourself when you’re facilitating a meeting makes it pretty tough to imagine you have anything but the purest of intentions. I doubt you upset too many people.

Nice guideline about not using comparative words. Sounds like a nice way of steering clear of the weeds.

]]> By: Twitted by rstackhouse http://www.stevenlist.com/blog/2009/06/28/its-the-subleties/comment-page-1/#comment-645 Twitted by rstackhouse Sun, 28 Jun 2009 16:28:39 +0000 http://www.stevenlist.com/blog/?p=460#comment-645 [...] This post was Twitted by rstackhouse [...] [...] This post was Twitted by rstackhouse [...]

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