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A Culture of Heroism

Agile & Lean, Coping and Communicating, Musings | Posted by Doc

Feb 11 2010

A while back, I wrote about A Culture of Blame. As I’ve traveled around the US and to other countries, I’ve seen more and more evidence of this, which keeps me thinking. I’m always looking for patterns of behavior, and simple ways to describe them.

When talking about Agile teams as compared to Waterfall teams, one of the things that has become apparent is that Waterfall is also a Culture of Heroism. In fact, in many ways, much of Western culture is about heroism. We laud the star athlete, the exceptional business person, the standout author, and so on. In many cases, it seems to be recognition and acclaim for the individual over the group, or at least the individual separate from the group.

Agile teams foster a culture of collaboration and cooperation. That’s not to say that there’s not room for individual excellence, effort, and achievement. I would say that high performant teams tend to focus on the success of the team over the individual. Is Agile more socialist, while Waterfall is more capitalist? I’m not sure, but it seems that way.

Regardless, there are a number of side effects of a Culture of Heroism:

Ego-driven achievement
Unhealthy competition (although sometimes it’s quite healthy)
Rewards that – in recognizing the individual – discourage the others on the team
A focus on the individual rather than the group goals

This is an interesting thing for me, because I’m highly competitive, and am happy to have individual recognition. On the other hand, I believe strongly in subordinating my ego to the purposes and goals of the team, and that the success of the team is what’s important*. Since my ego still wins out at times, I recognize that this is not just a struggle for me, but for others as well.

We’re raised in a culture of individualism and heroism, then we are invited into the Agile fold, and asked to shift our focus and our energy from ourselves to our teams.

I’ll continue to explore this as I get the opportunity to work with more teams. I will say that I’ve seen the culture of heroism everywhere I’ve gone, in one form or another, and believe firmly that the change to a culture of collaboration must come from the leadership as well as the team.

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Tags: Agile, behavior, commitment, culture, human interaction, pattern, training, waterfall
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The Endowment Effect (Cognitive Bias)

Coping and Communicating, Musings | Posted by Doc

Jan 29 2010

A couple of weeks ago, I was in Sandusky, Ohio for CodeMash 2.0.1.0. One of the keynotes was delivered by Andy Hunt (co-author of “The Pragmatic Programmer” and co-founder of The Pragmatic Bookshelf). Andy was talking about some of the material related to/from his book “Pragmatic Thinking and Learning: Refactor Your Wetware”.

One of the things that Andy talked about was Cognitive Bias. I found it fascinating, as he reiterated some of the research and findings that I’d just read about in “Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions“.

What got me was when he talked about the endowment effect. Simply stated, “a hypothesis that people value a good or service more once their property right to it has been established. In other words, people place a higher value on objects they own than objects that they do not.”

This got me to thinking about the resistance we meet when we introduce Agile concepts and practices to product development teams. After all, while I understand that change is hard and frightening, sometimes it still surprises me how much energy people put into resisting change, especially when they are suffering.

At one client I worked with recently, we had the group split into two teams, and had each team do a process doodle. As part of the exercise, each group explains their doodle. Both teams that participated explained that they spend something like 60% of their project time developing requirements and generating the various design documents. Add to that that they spend something like another 20% of their time on QA and UAT, and they spend 20% or less of their project time on actually building the product. They expressed frustration at the amount of overhead and the difficulty of getting things done. Finally, they explained that at each phase of the project, there are specific percentages by which they are allowed to be off in their estimates. That is, during requirements gathering and writing, they can be off by 50%. When they get into design, it goes down to 30%. And so on.

There’s such a powerful expression of lack of confidence in this that it amazed me. They have institutionalized their lack of confidence in both their system and their approach. And yet, there are way too many of “them” who hang onto this approach for dear life!

Let’s look at the endowment effect. “…people often demand much more to give up an object than they would be willing to pay to acquire it.“

Here’s my Agile Adoption Resistance Endowment Effect: If I know how my system works, and I know how to work my system, then even in the face of something that appears to work better and will probably ease my pain, I will demand more assurance of success and ease of adoption than I am willing to offer for the system I am currently using.

I’m going to spend more time on this stuff – cognitive bias – with thought toward how it applies to the training and coaching we do. There are some powerful lessons in there.

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Tags: Agile, behavior, reaction
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Subtleties (again)

Agile & Lean, Coping and Communicating, Musings | Posted by Doc

Jan 07 2010

While working out this morning, I got to watching other folks at the gym. It’s a fascinating exercise (watching, that is), as there are all sorts of variations on form and the exercises people do.

Here’s the thing…

Let’s consider biceps curls. It’s a simple enough exercise that lots of people do. Whether with a barbell or dumbbells, the form should be pretty much the same. And yet…

Watching one woman, she pulls her elbows back just before she lifts the barbell to her chest. Watching another fellow, he hunches up his shoulders just before lifting. Another person leans back a bit.

The thing about these subtle movements is that they change the exercise. Changing the exercise changes the value that you get from the exercise.

Obviously, most of these people are either unaware of what they’re doing – those subtle movements – or are unaware of how those movements change the exercise.

So let’s consider someone who, as they are saying something to me, tilts their head to the side. I don’t know about you, but that body language usually means “questioning” to me.

How about someone who doesn’t look me in the eye? Or someone who says things like “really” or “I mean it” or “honestly” a lot. Like Simon Cowell on American Idol who frequently says “If I’m being honest…” What? You’re not being honest the rest of the time?

There is so much communicated in those subtleties.

As I said this summer, each of us is responsible for considering what we say and what we do and how it affects or is interpreted by others. Each of us must be conscious of how we change the value of what we say or do by the little things, like pulling back our elbows before the lift.

I was having a conversation with my friend Sunni Brown the other day, and the topic of subtleties came up. I made the contention that mastery of any skill is made through the subtleties.

As I reflect on that, I’m reminded of something my former karate instructor, Jim Mather, used to say… “I can teach a chimpanzee to do kata [forms], but I can’t teach one to do them well!” Having taught many karate students myself, I became aware fairly early on that mastery of the large movements was easy, but mastery of the subtleties was not.

When I was taking a Chinese calligraphy class, I realized that I needed to watch the teacher’s fingers, where they held the brush, at least as much as I needed to watch the brush itself and the strokes she was making. At one point, I realized that she was unaware of many subtle movements she made as she wrote, and that those subtle movements made all the difference between average and masterful. And she did them largely unconsciously. As a result, she wasn’t actively teaching us those things – it was up to us, as her students, to be perceptive enough to learn those things.

The thing is, you can’t expect people in conversation, meetings, training, or life in general to be adept or perceptive enough to discover what you want them to discover – it’s up to you to make it clear to them. You can’t think or say “they should have known what I meant!” because that abrogates your responsibility to communicate effectively, and pushes that responsibility to the other person.

Be subtle by intent. Be clear and obvious the rest of the time.

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With Blame Goes Guilt

Agile & Lean, Coping and Communicating | Posted by Doc

Nov 07 2009

I was talking to a colleague last night about my thoughts around A Culture of Blame. He was sharing with me one of the tactics used by management, and it occurred to me that it’s hard to live in a culture of blame without also having blame’s counterpart, guilt.

“We’ve made a commitment to our customer, and we must fulfill that commitment.” This frequently means “I made a commitment to our customer, and YOU must fulfill that commitment (or YOU will suffer).”

Poor managers frequently combine blame and guilt as their two weapons of destruction. Rather than think of positive ways to motivate people, they undermine and discourage, somehow believing that this will produce better results.

Research and anecdotal evidence reveal that reward and positive motivation work far, far better than punishment and negative motivation. And yet, there we are.

One of the many things I love about Agile teams is that we move away from blame and guilt to collaboration, support, respect, and motivation.

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Tags: Agile, blame, commitment, guilt
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Facilitation Antipattern: Negator

Coping and Communicating, Facilitation, Musings | Posted by Doc

Sep 30 2009

Motto: That’s wrong.
Belief: It’s my responsibility to point out what’s wrong with other people’s ideas. I live in my black hat*.
Behavior: Points out the flaws and faults in everyone else’s approach. Does so without offering any balancing positives or alternatives.
Characteristics: Negative, sometimes superior, destructive, achieving satisfaction by negating others’ ideas.

The Negator sees their lot in life as poking holes in everyone else’s ideas and plans. While this is not, in and of itself, a bad thing, when exercised without the balance of alternatives or one’s own ideas it becomes a negative of its own.

The Negator may seem to be contributory and helpful at times, as their suggestions come across as helping you to see risks and dangers*. However, this behavior pattern, when exercised to the exclusion of balance, can become seen as the person’s identity, rather than one pattern of behavior among many.

* See Edward De Bono’s “Six Thinking Hats”

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Tags: antipattern, Facilitation, negative, pattern
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Fame

Coping and Communicating, Musings | Posted by Doc

Sep 27 2009

I went to see the new version of the movie “Fame” this afternoon with my wife and daughters.

I will say that I loved the movie, and plan to see it again.

It raised some interesting feelings and thoughts for me, which tie into a talk I gave at St. Edwards University Career Symposium on Friday.

I should mention that when I was growing up in New York, I applied to and auditioned for the High School of the Performing Arts, on which the movies have been based. I didn’t make it. I didn’t have the talent or skill necessary. Watching the movie led me to wonder what would happened had I gotten in.

There are some great messages in the movie. Jennie’s monologue about success toward the end is a wonderful piece of writing.

What it brought up for me was that many of the things that helped to determine the direction of my life and career have been pretty random.

I moved to San Francisco after college, because that’s where my two best friends settled after driving across the country. I met my wife, started graduate school, got a crummy job, fell into the computer industry, moved to Silicon Valley, had children, started my martial arts studies, had a heart attack, changed my view of life and the world… and all because my friends ended up in San Francisco.

Professionally, I left that first job at Control Data and went to my first startup in Silicon Valley. That led me to other startups, my own company, my move to Austin, and ultimately my job at ThoughtWorks. None of these things could have happened without the others preceding them, and yet it all seems so random.

So here’s the thought for my readers: are there ANY decisions you’ve made in your life that have NOT helped to determine the path of your life? Whether big ones like which school you attend or who you date or marry, or little ones like whether to go to the movies this afternoon.

After all, going to the movies today may shift my perspective on something else, which will influence a decision I’ll make, which will lead me… well, you get the idea.

Every interaction I have with someone else has the potential to change their life or mine or both. While this is an awful responsibility, it’s also an awesome opportunity. It shouldn’t freeze me. It SHOULD lead me to think about the things I say and do and how I say and do them.

I had an interesting small example of this when I was at Agile2009. Walking to dinner with a group of people, most of whom I’d never met either physically or vitrually, I began introducing myself. There were these two fellows from Finland. As I introduced myself to the second, he said “Doc? Doc LIST?”

Who knows what impact things I’ve said have had on him, or could have on him. The fact that he knew who I am was pretty stunning. Thank goodness he seemed happy to meet me.

Remember my name.
Fame.

I’m gonna live forever
I’m gonna learn how to fly
High

I feel it coming together
People will see me and cry
Fame

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Tags: communication, fate, life, relationships
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A Metallica power ballad?

Coping and Communicating, Musings | Posted by Doc

Aug 31 2009

Having arrived in San Francisco last night, I was feeling somewhat poetic. Or so I thought. So I tweeted something about listening to the rumble of the cable cars down on the street.

A friend sent me the following tweet…

Him: Dammit Steven…who cares? Love you man, but your tweet content is sometimes questionable. BTW, I’m sitting at my kitchen table

Me: I’m happy that you love me I’ll strive for greater profundity

Him: Your profundity inspires me. When you get off track, it’s like when Metallica does a power ballad

So here I am wondering about something that I’ve talked to others about… everything I tweet, as well as everything I blog, and everything I say in any public situation, contributes to how I’m perceived in the world. Since the world includes my professional community, it’s incumbent on me to think about what I say and how I say it. Right?

I believe that it is. So when I tweet something about the weather or where I’m having dinner, it contributes to people’s opinion and impression of me, sometimes in very subtle ways. Mostly, I think about that before I tweet. Sometimes I just think “the heck with it – I feel like saying this” and I go ahead.

I know several people whose Twitter personality or blog personality is DRAMATICALLY different from their in-person personality. This always makes me wonder. For instance, some folks are amazingly nice in person, but downright caustic electronically. I don’t get that. Why should there be such a difference, and why do they do it?

So I’m occasionally random and pointless, and clearly this annoys/disappoints/frustrates at least one friend and Twitter follower. It definitely gives me pause for thought.

How does my humor come across? How do my random/sarcastic/playful comments come across? Am I really being aware of not only myself, but how I affect others? And am I considering this in the generally-less-safe in-person context and the generally-more-safe electronic context?

This is one of the big lessons: being self-aware is work, and the work is never done.

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Tags: behavior, personality, self-awareness, twitter
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Consequences

Coping and Communicating, Facilitation | Posted by Doc

Aug 20 2009

I’m reading this book, and one character says to another “Everything has consequences.”

I swear I heard a bell go off in my head!

I’ve always said “Everything counts.” And also “if I’m present, whether I’m active or passive, I have an effect on what happens.”

And then this fictitious characters says “Everything has consequences.” and it all comes together for me.

Everything you do, or don’t do, has consequences.

“Right, Doc. Like if I give my wife a gift, it has consequences?”

Yup. And sometimes unexpected ones. Maybe the gift is too expensive, or not expensive enough. Maybe you thought she’d love it, but she sees it in a way you’d never think of. Or maybe she just loves it, and feels warmer towards you for a while.

“Okay. How about if I do nothing?”

There’s no such thing as “nothing.” Being inactive is not nothing. Being silent or withdrawn is most definitely not “nothing.”

As always, since It’s All About Me, whatever you do or don’t do, I will interpret according to my context, my view of the world at that moment. And that’s my reality.

So “nothing” might be angry or hostile or sad or frustrated or… And, as they tell us in Crucial Conversations, I will then proceed to tell myself a story about how you feel, what it means, and how it affects me. All as a result of you saying and doing… nothing.

I’m not suggesting that you either stop doing anything, or that you do something all the time.

I’m saying that it pays to be aware that Everything has consequences.

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Tags: behavior, choices, communication, human interaction, relationships
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The Pain of Healing

Coping and Communicating, Musings | Posted by Doc

Aug 13 2009

This one is more personal than most of my posts to this blog. Still on topic, and personal.

Those of you who follow me on Facebook or Twitter or even LinkedIn will have seen my posts about my mother. In brief, she developed Primary Peritoneal Cancer, underwent two rounds of chemotherapy, had surgery (debulking, hysterectomy), and is home now in New York City. I’ve spent a significant amount of the last month with her, just to be with her through this last part – finding out whether the chemo worked, planning for the surgery, and the being here for the surgery and post-surgery.

As I’ve watched her over the week since her surgery, I came to realize that it’s all too easy for me to forget what it’s like to be recovering from major surgery, and to apply my own biases and beliefs to her recovery. I have had a couple of major surgical events in my life, and yet here I am forgetting what that was like. Shouldn’t it be easy and exciting and rewarding to be recovering and healing? I forgot about my first walk down the block after one surgery – I made it one-half block, then was so tired I had to turn back. I was only 35 at the time. My mother is 83.

The reality for the patient is that it’s slow and frustrating and annoying and frightening and frequently painful. In my mother’s case, they cut her open, took out parts, and sewed and stapled her back together again. That’s what my wife refers to as “an insult to the body.”

So it’s not unreasonable that it hurts while it’s healing, that my mother is moving slowly, fighting to get the drugs out of her system, and struggling with getting “back to normal.” And that doesn’t even take into account the two rounds of chemo she went through, nor the four more she’ll undergo to make sure all the cancer is gone.

So how is this on topic?

I deal with friends and colleagues in work situations all the time, and all too frequently apply my own current biases and beliefs to them and their behaviors. Even when I know that something unusual is going on – whether personal or professional – I have, at times, tended to pay it lip service and still expect them to “get on with it.”

Recovery is work. Recovery is painful. Recovery is frustrating and discouraging. Recovery demands focus and attention, sometimes to the detriment or exclusion of other important things. Healing is a full-time job, in many cases.

I’m not saying that someone who is recovering from something gets an automatic free pass. I am saying that perhaps I need to remind myself of these truths, and integrate them into my thinking, and into my behavior. Sympathy is a valuable tool.

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Tags: behavior
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IAAM: Sympathizing, Empathizing, Identifying

Coping and Communicating, Musings | Posted by Doc

Jul 02 2009

[This is fiction. Any resemblance to individuals living or otherwise is purely coincidental. Really.]

Joan’s phone starting ringing insistently. Joan thought for a moment, since she was watching her favorite reality TV show, and that was her time to just disconnect. In spite of her preferences, Joan decided to answer the phone.

“Joan?” She heard her friend Nancy’s voice, and her heart skipped a beat. Nancy was sobbing. “Nancy? What’s wrong honey?”

“They fired me, Joan! They fired me!”

“Joanie…” sobbing “…they said that I just wasn’t living up to their expectations.”

“Oh, Nancy…”

Now let’s talk about Joan’s possible reactions…

Each of us has a different reaction, and each of us offers a different response based on that reaction*. For the moment, I want to talk about three types of reaction and response: sympathy, empathy, and identification.

Reaction: Sympathy

Response: “Oh, Nancy… that’s terrible. You must feel miserable. I can only imagine how that feels. Would you like to come over and talk?”

Reaction: Empathy

Response: “Oh, Nancy… I feel terrible. I can’t believe it! I’ll come over and let’s talk about what we can do.” Joan cries.

Reaction: Identification

Response: “Oh, Nancy. Those bastards! After all you’ve done for them, and how hard you’ve worked. You gave your all to that company, and this is how they treat you? I’m devastated.”

Nancy cries.

Joan cries.

Up to this point, sympathy, empathy, and identification sound a lot alike. In all three versions, Joan has an emotional reaction that leads to a behavior – her response. In each case, her response is subtly different. Note that in the following discussion, I am not making a judgment about better versus worse, or good versus bad… I’m working on achieving understanding and recognizing that each type of reaction and response deserves and requires a different response from me.

In being sympathetic, Joan’s response is separate. Joan is clear that what is happening to Nancy is about Nancy, not about Joan. While Joan may feel sad or angry, it is on behalf of her friend. From Nancy’s perspective, there is a little bit of distance between them. Joan’s feelings are moderate.

In being empathetic, Joan’s response is collective. Joan feels what she believes Joan feels, including the pain, indignation, and so forth. For Joan, what is happening is also happening to her, emotionally. From Nancy’s perspective, it’s like a resonation, which may increase the level of her feelings. To a certain extent, Joan’s reaction becomes an extension of Nancy’s reaction. Joan’s feelings are intense, although she recognizes that they are about Nancy.

In identifying with Nancy, Joan takes on Nancy’s feelings and reactions. Joan’s response is intense and personal, as though she were the one who had been fired. Nancy may be taken aback by the intensity of Joan’s reaction, as Joan takes on some of Nancy’s emotional response. Joan behaves as if she were the one who had been fired, and will react to others as if she were the victim as much as Nancy.

To see how this works, let’s add Joan’s husband Mark to the story…

“Joan? What’s going on?”

Sympathy

“It’s Nancy. She got fired today. I feel so bad for her. She’s so upset.”

“That sucks. What’s she going to do?”

“I don’t know yet. I may have to spend some time with her. I hope that’s okay with you.”

Empathy

“It’s Nancy. She got fired today. I’ve got to go over there to be with her right now!” Sobbing

“That sucks. What’s she going to do?”

“I don’t know yet, but I just know how horrible she feels and that I have to go be with her. It’s so painful! Doesn’t this upset you?”

Identification

“It’s Nancy. She got fired today. I’ve got to go over there to be with her right now!” Sobbing

“That sucks. What’s she going to do?”

“They treated her like dirt! How can you be so calm? Don’t you care? They were unfair and cruel. I don’t know what we’re going to do, but we’re going to do something to show them!”

Note that Joan’s response to Mark escalates from Sympathy to Empathy to Identification. In the latter, Joan feels that what has happened to Nancy has happened to her, and thus she expects the same kind of reaction from Mark that she’d expect if she had been fired.

This post is long enough. Now I’m going to go off and think about the differences in responses to each of the three.

Sympathy

an inclination to support or be loyal to or to agree with an opinion; “his sympathies were always with the underdog”; “I knew I could count on his …
sharing the feelings of others (especially feelings of sorrow or anguish)
a relation of affinity or harmony between people; whatever affects one correspondingly affects the other; “the two of them were in close sympathy”
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sympathy

Empathy

understanding and entering into another’s feelings
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/empathy

Identification

the attribution to yourself (consciously or unconsciously) of the characteristics of another person (or group of persons)
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
a process by which one ascribes to oneself the qualities or characteristics of another person.
A person’s association with or assumption of the qualities, characteristics, or views of another person or group.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/identification

*Reaction vs. Response

For the purposes of this discussion, I’m defining “reaction” as the emotional or physical effect that occurs without thinking, and “response” as the chosen action or thought that occurs after the reaction. That is, if I put my hand in a fire, pulling my hand out is a reaction – I don’t think about it – while swearing about it is a response.

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