Motto

The Orator’s self-focus is not malicious. She isn’t trying to dominate or manipulate. She just has a lot to say, and frequently will use ten words where one will do.

The Orator is very pleased with what she has to say and the sound of her own voice, seems to be able to talk endlessly without taking a breath, and rarely leaves an opening for someone else to speak until she’s good and ready.

The damage to the team is similar to many of the other antipatterns, regardless of whether the Orator is the facilitator or a member of the meeting. Her dominance of the proceedings through relentless takeover of the floor causes others to resign their passion, and become reluctant to even try to say something.

Exercises that force a democratic process, like the Circle of Questions or Starfish, are best for dealing with an Orator in the meeting.

If you are the facilitator and you are an Orator, well,…

Motto

What’s not so obvious is that Dominators are not always egocentric or glory loving or outgoing. Frequently, Dominators have learned that the only way that they can get people to hear what they have to say, and to make their points, is by steamrolling everyone else. Outside of meetings/discussions, they may be timid or quiet. but get them into a meeting, and they will just take over.

Okay – there are also Dominators who do it because they do love to be the center of everyone’s attention. For these Dominators – the ones you probably thought of first – it’s not so much which point they make as that they make a point by overwhelming everyone else’s defenses. Their joy comes from the act and experience of being dominant.

Dominators have found that if they speak more loudly than everyone else, everyone else will be quiet and listen to them.

Dominators have found that by the force of their presence (similar to the Gladiator) they can achieve their goals.  But distinct from the Gladiator, the Dominator doesn’t want us to fight back. The Dominator achieves victory by shutting everyone else down.

The Dominator is happy when we say “Okay – whatever you say” as a sign of capitulation.  They’re happiest when we say “Oh, you’re SO right!” as a sign of recognition of their rightness, along with capitulation.

To deal with a Dominator, you have to break their pattern. This is hard, because they’re relentless.

Techniques that either involve the group without discussion (Starfish, Timeline) or that enforce a structure that gives everyone equal time and attention (Circle of Questions, The Margolis Wheel).

Note that Robert Chambers, in Participatory Workshops: A Sourcebook of 21 Sets of Ideas and Activities, has an exercise he calls Dominator (pages 168-9), which he describes thus: “A lively activity to heighten awareness of verbal and non-verbal dominant and submissive behaviour and of the effects of physical position on relationships.”

Quoted from the book:

An intense and good experience to come near the end**. This enables participants to share and receive advice on real problems and opportunities. It reinforces solidarity and mutual support. It can also surprise people with their own ability to counsel others.

You need four-six pairs of chairs, facing each other, arranged in a circle. As many circles of pairs of chairs as fit the number taking part. Allow ten minutes for briefing and reflection, plus:

4 pairs of chairs – 25-30 minutes
5 paris of chairs – 30-35 minutes
6 pairs of chairs – 35-40 minutes

1. Ask participants to reflect and choose a problem or opportunity they face or will face. This can be in their work and/or when they return to their institutions, or be any personal problem on which they would like advice. Stress that everything that passes is in confidence between friends.
2. Ask everyone to sit in a chair, any chair. Those on the inner ring are counsellors, and those on the outer ring their clients. There are three minutes only for each round of advice, roughly one minute for posing the problem, and two minutes for the advice.
3. After two minutes warn that only one minute is left. After three minutes, all the outer ring (clients) move one seat in the same direction. The inner ring (counsellors) stays put. Repeat the procedure.
4. When the outer ring has gone round, counsellors and clients swap seats. The process is repeated with the roles changed.

Tips and Options

• Encourage note-taking, otherwise much will be forgotten. Notes can be taken on the run, or two minutes or so can be set aside at the end of each full circuit for making a personal record.
• It may be wise to place people from the same organization or department into different clusters of chairs.
• If numbers do not fit, facilitators can take part, or volunteers can sit out and observe, or an extra pair of chairs can be added to one or more circles (in which case stop the bigger circles when the smaller circles have finished their round).
• Write down the times when change-overs must take place. (Otherwise it is easy to mess up the timing).

Source: Participatory Learning and Action: A Trainer’s Guide citing Alan Margolis, personal communication.

** While Chambers suggests this for the end, I think that this can effectively be used as part of a progressive approach to larger meetings. For instance, start with Open Space, then integrate activities like The World Café and the Margolis Wheel to refine communication and understanding.

In this activity, the group sits in a circle, and going around the circle, each person takes a turn asking a question to the person on their immediate left. The question can be about anything they like (barring anything offensive or attacking), but it’s helpful to focus on something relevant to this group and its history/activities. The person to the left answers the question to the best of their ability, and then they ask the person to their left any other question (or the same question if they feel they’d like a better answer). This continues until the allotted time is up, or until you have gone around the entire circle twice, whichever comes last. Make sure you go around the complete circle: if some people in the group get more turns to ask or answer a question than others, it can send the wrong message.

[This write-up courtesy of John Wilger]

Variations:

• After the first time around, reverse direction
• After the first time around, have every second person get up and change places
• Go around more than twice

Agile Retrospectives by Diana Larsen and Esther Derby

The process information in this book is very good. The exercises, though, are the real value. That’s because once you’ve figured out how to run a retrospective (which might take several experiences), what you’ll refer to over and over is the activities/exercises.

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The Art Of War by Sun Tzu

The definitive book on strategy. If you read this, and think about it in the context of work/business, you’ll find that Sun Tzu’s simple statements have broad-reaching implications. I frequently give this book as part of a gift set that includes The Art of War, The Book of Five Rings, and The Unfettered Mind.

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The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi

This book is complementary to The Art of War. While The Art of War is about strategy, this book is about tactics. Both books include some of each, but each really focuses on one or the other. Once again, reading for understanding and application outside of the specific context of the book provides great insight. I frequently give this book as part of a gift set that includes The Art of War, The Book of Five Rings, and The Unfettered Mind.

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Collaboration Explained: Facilitation Skills for Software Project Leaders (Agile Software Development Series)

While this book is positioned as being focused on Agile teams, I find it to be an excellent resource for meeting/event facilitation in general. The details that Tabaka covers – from planning to meeting to follow-up – are exceptional. I recommend this as a must-read for anyone who ever organizes a meeting or event of any kind.

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Crucial Confrontations: Tools for talking about broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior

As with Crucial Conversations (below), read this. These two books address one-on-one conversations and failed commitments in a way that no other work has done, for me.

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Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler

Read this. Is that direct enough? I find this to be one of the most useful and effective books I’ve read in decades. The combination of the concepts and techniques are applicable throughout all aspects of life: personal, professional, networking, casual, you name it. It has helped me to transform my career and my relationships at home. Read it.

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Facilitator’s Guide to Participatory Decision-Making by Sam Kaner

One of the bibles of facilitation, this book explains process and how you function in it as a facilitator. While it includes somewhat more focused and less general information than some of the others, it is firmly on the must-read list.

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Influencer: The Power to Change Anything by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler

Another exceptional work by the authors of Crucial Conversations and Crucial Conversations. This book has me challenging my assumptions, and questioning my acceptance of my own excuses, while helping me to increase my effectiveness as a coach, speaker, facilitator, husband, father, and friend.

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Open Space Technology: A User’s Guide by Harrison Own

I love Open Space Technology. I am an Open Space Facilitator, and it’s all from reading this book. While my friend Scott Bellware introduced me to the concept and practice, it’s Harrison Owen who opened my eyes through this and his other works. This is the starting point, if you want to learn about and practice Open Space Technology.

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Participatory Workshops: A Sourcebook of 21 Sets of Ideas and Activities by Robert Chambers

Admittedly, I just found this one while cruising for interesting books on the topic. Now it’s one of my favorite resources. The information contained is broad and deep, providing insights and activities for almost any circumstances. This belongs on the bookshelf of anyone who does facilitation, or even who attends meetings.

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Presentation Zen: Simple Ideas on Presentation Design and Delivery (Voices That Matter) by Garr Reynolds

One of the most enjoyable books I’ve read on presenting and creating presentations. The concepts are simple, enjoyable, and lead to more comfort in presenting. A must read for anyone who presents.

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Project Retrospectives: A Handbook for Team Reviews by Norman Kerth

The original, and still most important, book on the subject of retrospectives.

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The Skilled Facilitator: A Comprehensive Resource for Consultants, Facilitators, Managers, Trainers, and Coaches by Roger Schwarz

Another of the definitive works on facilitation, Schwarz has captured decades of experience and study and learning.

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Six Thinking Hats by Edward De Bono

An excellent, and classic, work on thinking, group decision making and problem resolution.

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Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art by Scott McCloud

Recommended by my friend Chris Matts in the U.K., this book takes a look at what “comics” really are in the world of art and literature, and does it using comic art! This is a big help to me in developing training and other materials.

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The Unfettered Mind: Writings from a Zen Master to a Master Swordsman by Takuan Soho

A book that most folks have never heard of, The Unfettered Mind is a set of letters/essays from Takuan Soho – an itinerant monk who was contemporary with Miyamoto Musashi – on swordsmanship. The reflections, and mental and spiritual concepts he explores are remarkable. I have introduced lots of people to this book – several claim it changed their lives and career paths. I frequently give this book as part of a gift set that includes The Art of War, The Book of Five Rings, and The Unfettered Mind.

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Weird Ideas That Work: How to Build a Creative Company by Robert I. Sutton

Understanding that what we take for granted as the right way or the accepted way may not be the way to foster creativity and innovation. As always with Sutton, good ideas with lots of stories to show how it works and doesn’t work.

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The World Cafe: Shaping Our Futures Through Conversations That Matter by Juanita Brown

A lovely approach to delving into issues. This book is, for me, synergistic with Open Space Technology and a fun way to structure an event or part of an event.

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