Q is for Question

Too much of life gets taken for granted.

Challenge the status quo!

Question your own motives!

Ask the difficult questions, and be prepared to be asked in return!

My favorite question is "Why did I do that?"

Leadership and Self-Examination

There are two kinds of leaders, when it comes to self-examination: those who do question their own motives and behavior honestly and those who don't. Those who don't may not even understand the difference!

If you accept my premise that an effective leader puts the welfare of those being led above his/her own, then the rest follows naturally. If you don't, you might as well stop reading here.

Given that premise - that the welfare of the led is placed above the welfare of the leader - then it seems clear that the leader must always ask "Why did I do that?" or "What did I hope to accomplish with that?" or "Why do I believe I should do that?" And then the answer must always have an answer that relates to the welfare of the group, the team, the family.

There are two aspects of this that come up for me, and that always come up for me in questions of leadership: work and family. Let's take the latter first*...

We are in the process of downsizing our home. When we first moved to Austin, there were six human beings** in the house. At the end of this school year, there will be only one of our four children left at home. So we're going to move into a smaller house. Needless to say, at least the youngest child is asking "Why?"

And so we (the leadership team of my wife and myself) are faced with asking ourselves the same question. Whom does this move benefit? What are the goals that we are trying to accomplish?

And then there's the killer question: "When we move, can I still go to the same school?"

Why is that the killer question? Because given all the alternatives, I'd like to have more choices rather than less. But that's about my benefit, not hers! So the answer to the first question is financial - it just makes good sense not to incur all the overhead of a larger house for fewer people. But the answer to the second question is about the team - yes, we will look in the same geographical area so that our daughter can go to high school with all of her friends. Because, ultimately, that is what's of greatest importance at this time for the family as a whole. In this case, it's possible to reconcile the overriding "corporate"† goals (financial, space) with the goals of the "team" (location, social life).

And then there's the work environment. The pressures of business goals versus our responsibilities as leaders of people.

I don't have the space or time to dig into the balancing act that each of us must perform. But I can suggest that you save these questions, and use them to stimulate your thinking each time you have to make some difficult decisions that affect your team as a whole and as a group of individuals:

• Does the business goal conflict with the goals of the individuals?
• Are my personal biases driving my choices?
• Did I consider what the other person heard as much as I considered what I think I said?
• Do I understand the goals of each member of my team? Do I take them into account?
• How easy have I made it for my team members to communicate with me?

None of us can be perfect or be perfectly balanced all the time. But asking ourselves some key questions can make a huge difference.

* Of course, I beg your indulgence in thinking of me as the leader of my family.
** I qualify this because we also had dogs, ferrets, rats, guinea pigs, and reptiles.
† We're using this definition of "corporate": "United or combined into one body; collective"

What Happened?

While I wish for you that nothing bad ever happen to you in your life, that's not the case for most of us. Whether it's a health issue, family issue, work issue, or career issue, these things do come up.

One example that happens to those of us who have worked in start-up companies is the dreaded "lay-off" or RIF (reduction in force).

There are standard scripts for this stuff, you know. The responsible manager or executive doesn't make it up, nor are they generally free to ad-lib. Quite the contrary, they are constrained to a carefully written script that eliminates the possibility of any controversial or questionable communications.

The key statement is always something of the form: "For business reasons, your position is no longer required." Note that it's "your position", not "you". That's one of those controversial things they avoid - if they said "you" it'd be a termination, not a business-mandated reduction in force.

I don't know about you, but I've been fortunate and unfortunate enough to have been both the speaker and the listener. Neither one is fun. And when I've been laid off, the first question that came to my mind was "Why me?"

It doesn't matter that they said "this is not about you, Steven, it's about the position you fill." It's still me that's being laid off, reduced, let go, eliminated - that includes my salary and my benefits and my interaction with my co-workers every day. Not my position, but me.

And so I find myself asking "Why me?"

I've found two answers to this question...

Answer 1: It Doesn't Matter!

Honestly, however I got here, whatever path led me to where I am today, is in the past. I can try to figure out whether there were any politics or personalities, or whether it was a function of the weather. But fundamentally, in terms of where I go from here, it doesn't matter. The best thing I can do is go forward, taking with me whatever lessons I learned or can learn from this. Which leads us to...

Answer 2: I Was There!

On the other hand, I believe most firmly that since I was present, I contributed to the situation. That is, even if I sit in a room with a group of people and never say a word, nonetheless I am participating by my silence and have created some kind of impression in the minds of the othe people in the room.

So if it's me that's been chosen for this layoff, I have the opportunity to look back at my experience and learn from it. Because that's what it's all about. Not figuring out what motivated the other people, per se, but figuring out whether there were ways that I, in my own best judgement, could have done things better, more effectively, in such a manner as to make it less likely that they would eliminate both my position and me!

And so?

Do these same answers apply when it's a health issue or a family issue? For me, the answer is yes. If I can learn and move forward, then I am a success!

Wishing you health, wealth, and happiness,

send feedback about this newsletter

view newsletter archives

As always, the options to unsubscribe from this newsletter or to change your email address or other settings are at the bottom of this mailing. While I hope you won't choose to unsubscribe, I respect your right to do so and will always make it as easy as possible

Steven works with entrepreneurs, executives, and professionals who want to clarify their communications and concepts so that they can dramatically increase their business profitability.

Material in this newsletter is copyright © 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005 Steven Marc List unless
otherwise noted, and may not be used without express written permission
This newsletter may be forwarded and shared at will.