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September, 2003

Blind Spots are those areas of skill, knowledge, experience, or expertise that we take for granted.

They may be professional, personal, or interpersonal.

Sometimes, we find people in our blind spots!

If I'm doing my "job," you've been thinking.

Maybe you've thought "Hmmm - I wonder what blind spots I have?"

Or maybe you've thought "This is old - I found my blind spots ages ago."

Either way, if you're thinking, I'm happy.

Now let's poke this bear a little more, and see what happens...

The Money Is In Your Blind Spot!™

After I gave a talk one time, a woman in her thirties came up to me. She was nicely dressed in a subtle flowered dress that reached to mid-knee, wore attractive shoes, and had blond shoulder-length hair. She had a look of what might have been confusion or concern on her face.

"I heard everything you said," she said. "But I don't think I have any skills or knowledge or experience that would be valuable to anyone else!"

I gave myself a moment to think before speaking. This takes discipline, but has never failed to be worthwhile.*

"Tell me something about yourself," I said.

"Well, I've been married for fifteen years and I have three children. I've been a 'stay-at-home' mom for most of that time, and spend most of my time either taking care of my husband and children, taking care of the house, or doing some community activities. I haven't worked outside the home since before my first child was born, and don't know what I would do if I had to!"

She actually looked on the verge of tears as she said this. I could see that she had convinced herself that all she was "good for" was being a wife and mother and homemaker.

Don't misunderstand me here - I place extremely high value on people who commit themselves to building and raising families. I don't think of this woman or anyone who makes that commitment as "only" anything. But it was clear to me that this woman had convinced herself that her value was only tied to her relationship to her husband and children, and her household duties.

"Tell me about your kitchen," I prodded.

She looked confused. "My kitchen?"

"Yes, tell me about your kitchen."

"Well, I take some pride in the fact that it's always clean, and things are almost always put away in their proper place."

"Proper place?" I asked.

"Yes," she said. "I think my kitchen is pretty well organized - my pantry shelves and my drawers and cabinets are neat and I have a system for where I put things."

"So would you say that if I walked into your kitchen, I might be impressed with it? Do people who come into your home comment on your kitchen?"

"Yes, I guess they do."

"And what do you say when they tell you that they are impressed?"

"Well, I guess I say 'It's no big deal.'"

And at that moment, a look of surprise came onto her face and her eyes opened just a bit wider. And she said "...no big deal" with just a touch of wonder.

"You know, I can think of any number of people who would be happy to have someone who could come in and organize their kitchen for them. Or, for that matter, their office or bedroom or den or living room or... Well, it seems to me that if your kitchen is neat and clean and organized and orderly, you must have some skills in planning and organization."

And again, with some hesitation and a touch of wonder, she said "I guess I do."

"And maybe, if you take those skills and 'turn them 90 degrees', you'll find that there are many ways in which you can apply those skills and that talent in other situations. I'm sure there are many opportunities for you to apply skills at planning and organization in a variety of situations. You've probably been using them in some of your community activities already."

As we leave my new friend contemplating her Blind Spot, let me say that I have yet to find someone who doesn't have some skills, knowledge, experience, expertise, or relationship hidden in a Blind Spot. Sometimes it takes someone else to help find it, as with the story above. But each of us can find our own.

Remember the key phrases:

  • It's easy
  • It's no big deal

Next time, we'll explore a different kind of Blind Spot and a new key phrase.

If you have a good Blind Spot story you'd like to share, please send it along. I will be sure to give you proper credit.

And please share this newsletter with your friends and colleagues and help me spread the word.

The "money" - the value we can find and use to the benefit of ourselves and others - that's in our Blind Spots is there for each of us.

Adjust your mirrors, look into your Blind Spots, find new value, and put it to work.

* This was one of my blind spots - a negative one in this case. I had a tendency to speak without thinking. When I rationalized it to myself, I said "I don't want to edit my thoughts, so I'll just let them out." Being thoughtful and treating others with care was a lesson I had to learn.

Wishing you health, wealth, and happiness,

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