May 2004

U is for Umbrage

I had left off of my alphabet newsletters for a while, and decided to return to them this month. These last letters of the alphabet can be tricky. I don't know what I'll do when I get to "X"!

I could have chosen other words for "U." "Umbrella," for example, can be used quite effectively in the figurative sense.

Instead, though, I have chosen "Umbrage." I enjoy the word and its use. I picture a stuffy old gentleman, puffing up, and proclaiming, "I take UMBRAGE at that, sir!" (A British accent helps.)

First, let me give you a definition, so that I am not leaving anyone out:

um·brage     (mbrj) n. 1. Offense; resentment: took umbrage at their rudeness. 2. a. Something that affords shade. b. Shadow or shade.*

You've probably heard "umbrage" used to mean "offense," usually in something like my example above. Isn't it interesting, though, that it also means something that affords shade? Sounds kind of like "umbrella," doesn't it…? How could that be related to a word which means offense? Here's further information that may help:

"The feeling of being overshadowed; jealousy of another, as standing in one's light or way; hence, suspicion of injury or wrong; offense; resentment.

‘Persons who feel most umbrage from the overshadowing aristocracy.' --Sir W. Scott."*

Ah, now I get it!

At what do you "take umbrage"? A co-worker taking all the credit for something you've worked on? A colleague who lords her masters degree over you? A family member who brags on her cooking or gift-wrapping skills? A friend who flaunts his car?

As we have discussed in my "The Money Is in Your Blind Spot" [or other] newsletters, everyone has something to show off, to brag on, to be proud of! That means that you have talents and achievements of which you can be proud.

So do you need to feel overshadowed or offended by someone else's gifts? Of course not!

Even though some people may be obnoxious in their pride, there is no reason for you to feel less than whole, equal, and gifted on your own!

In the case of the glory-grabbing co-worker, there are two things you can do. One is to let it go. This is a great option if there are no real consequences to your career. Taking the high road is good for the soul!

If "letting it go" would have a negative effect, by all means, visit with your supervisor and/or your co-worker's supervisor, to be sure that the truth is known and you are given due credit. Your ability to handle that situation well is a "Blind Spot" unto itself!

Otherwise, let the other person have his or her moment! And be satisfied knowing the truth about yourself. You will have your moment out from under the "umbrage" too!

Remember, there's a difference between boasting and taking pride in one's accomplishments. Now that I make my home in Texas, I can claim a useful expression I learned from a Texan friend:

"If it's the truth, it ain't braggin'!"

No need for umbrage here!

*(All definitions are from www.dictionary.com.)

Wishing you health, wealth, and happiness,

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Steven works with entrepreneurs, executives, and professionals who want to clarify their communications and concepts so that they can dramatically increase their business profitability.

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